Let’s Discuss Allowing and New Online Course Begins January 27 2017

 In Child Development, Notes

Blessings and welcome to 2017. Have you noticed the sun, the moon, the sky and sunsets lately? I take refuge walking in nature and meeting with friends for coffee. For me spending time in nature and hearing music, even an ounce will free my negativity and embolden me to manage the new “unpredictable.” This new normal is my understanding that whatever I used to consider predictable, in terms of human behavior, politics, thought processes of other humans and weather has changed. It’s confusing and frightening.

Where to start and what do you do?

My answer begins with my sharing of 2016. I did a Ted style talk, and taught at the Ohio Law Enforcement conference. Two transformative experiences helped me to stay grateful, despite my constant battle with negativity.

This June, I accompanied my adopted daughter on a birth search journey trip to Russia. Beyond all expectations and filled with tremendous grace, our prayers were met with the most unexpected resolution to difficult obstacles.

The search began Nov, 2015 with emails, phone calls, trauma, paper trail, meditation, negotiation, sorrow, freak outs, crying, guilt trips, grief, intuitive decisions, turning everything over to the higher power, trust, joyous connections. We arrived June 11, and began our experience of her Russian orphanage, cities and countryside, generosity from people related to my daughter’s past, wild family histories, 4 airplane rides, a few out of the body experiences, wine, vodka, lots of salami, the Opera House in St Petersburg, homemade Russian food and culture, the Kremlin and Hermitage, enormous sadness, resolution, redemption, lots of laughter and every emotion imaginable. Did I mention this was all being translated from Russian to English? It was humbling, joining hands with strangers across the globe and building life long friendships. I didn’t regret one minute of it. My way of integrating this experience was to write a book on Adoption to be out in 2017-18.

The second major feat of 2016 was recovering from a car accident where I discovered I have Osteoporosis, nerve pain and 3 fractured vertebrae. (Ouch.) With lots of manual therapies, intuitive healing, days of silence, dialoguing with my deepest needs, desires, and my lumbar spine and left leg, meditation, contemplation, walks in nature and listening to what was emerging, I am now doing well. I have arrived at allowing my new life to emerge in the intuitive direction it is now headed. I will admit, I painfully have arrived at this moment and had tons of resistance to change, just as you do.

Let’s discuss allowing.

Allowing is when you get quiet, pause and listen. You let emerge what has been there all the time, but you were too busy talking, resisting, complaining, doing and thinking to notice. You step back and let things happen. This requires being quiet, even silent and patient. It requires letting go of your own agenda, timing, and desired outcomes. It takes deep listening. It requires non-doing. It’s hard. It involves just being. Putting one foot in front of the other without a concrete direction takes courage and trusting the unknown. This is what I was forced to do, in both these experiences of 2016, to allow things to happen.

I’m not implying inaction. By all means, continue to take action. But allow for silence so you can be creative, nurtured, regenerate and take the noise level of the mind down a notch. Allow yourself the space to hear, feel, breathe and sense the direction that you might need but might be resisting. Sit still, and allow for the silent response to the question, what’s next? It’s so hard to sit in the empty space when we are so driven to do.

Personally, I’m concerned about children and adolescents in this new normal. So you recall from my book Mindfulness and Yoga Skills, the Camera Lens and then the Starfish from My Calm Place card deck? I invite you to do the Camera Lens activity and then the Starfish.

Camera Lens

Imagine yourself standing on a street or in your house. Imagine looking down at yourself as you go up higher and higher in the sky; first seeing only your body, then your family, house, street, town, state, country, oceans, hemisphere, world, galaxy never losing sight of you as a speck as you go higher and higher. As you look down, pause, breathe and giggle at the enormity of it all, slowly keeping the vision of you. Then funnel your vision back from the galaxy to the earth, hemisphere, country, state, town, street, house, family and finally your body. Focus on your own body and enter deeply into your relationship with this physical body so that you can ground yourself in the now.


Start by standing and finding your feet and then your center. Breathe and radiate out like the Starfish to all four limbs, raising your arms above and widening the feet and grounding through the legs into an x pattern. Doing a cross lateral stretch, reach with one arm (right) and press the (left) foot into the floor. Then repeat at the other side. Finding your core, then your heart and extend out in all 4 directions from your center as you express joy and connect to your body as you open to wholeness and the present moment.



Ask yourself what can you do in this moment, hour, today, to help and serve yourself and someone else? How can you make a difference? Does a smile do it, a kind word, exercise, cooking something healthy, taking a breath, pausing, resisting an angry response or inner chatter, not reacting, or placing something from your grocery bag into the bin for the Food pantry? Find some way to move forward toward the light, in your own way. It might be a big step, or a small one. Embody it, do it, share it. I hope this is helpful in moving forward in 2017.



Please check out my new online offering starting Jan 27th- Feb 24th that will take place in a private Facebook group with short online videos.

Title: My Calm Place: Building skills for Tolerance, Kindness and Focus
Time Frame Jan 27th –Feb 24th and ongoing.
This course will take place in a private Facebook group via video and posts.
Each week’s topic is from Movement, Imagination, Meditation, and Connection cards.

Video teaching topics include:

  • Self-regulation
  • Building focus, kindness, tolerance
  • Identity issues in adoption and adolescence
  • Somatic techniques to develop a safe body space
  • Meditation
  • Social skills
  • Positive Psychology and more.

I will post a short video (10-15 min) each week on the private Facebook group page on each Friday beginning Jan. 27th. The video will be a teaching unit and activity drawing from the My Calm Place card deck and from Barbara’s Mindfulness and Yoga Skills book, and her new book on Adoption for teens. Then the participants can share in the private Facebook group their experiences practicing the techniques with their clients, families and for themselves and add anything else they wish to share with the group. The group is private and only available to people that join the course and group. We will need to be connected on Facebook in order for me to add you, instructions after you register.

Fee: $25. Register Here>>
Online Facebook

Many blessing for joy, patience, tolerance and peace in 2017




Barbara Neiman
As an Integrative Occupational Therapist, Certified Body-Mind Centering Practitioner, and author of Mindfulness & Yoga Skills for Children & Adolescents, Barbara thrives by facilitating people's self-trust, heightened sensory attunement, and subtle shifts in daily habits. A longtime teacher and trainer, she also trains other professionals in using Trauma-Informed Yoga to aid others to come home to their bodies. 845-796-6460 or bneiman1@gmail.com.
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